Thursday, December 4, 2025

Topics for discussion: Imagine that you have two children. Your friend needs a piece of advice on parenting. What would you recommend?

Parenting is a journey full of joy, challenges, and learning. Imagine that I have two children. Each day brings new experiences, from their first words to their growing independence. As a parent, I have learned that understanding, patience, and love are essential. If my friend asked me for advice on raising children, I would share some important recommendations, based on my experience and research.
The first recommendation I would give is to listen to your children. Children, even from a very young age, have feelings, thoughts, and opinions. When we listen to them, we show that their opinions matter. For example, my older child often wants to explain why they feel upset or how their day went at school. By listening carefully, I can understand their emotions and give the proper guidance. Listening also encourages children to communicate openly, which is vital for building trust between parents and kids.
Second, I would recommend being consistent with rules and routines. Children feel safer when they know what to expect, and consistent routines help develop good habits. For instance, having a fixed time for homework, meals, and bedtime makes children more responsible and organized. It is also important that rules are reasonable and explained clearly. My younger child sometimes struggles with completing chores, but when I consistently explain the importance of helping around the house, they gradually accept responsibility and learn self-discipline.
Another essential piece of advice is to show love and appreciation. Children need to feel secure and valued. Simple gestures, such as saying "I am proud of you" or hugging them after a good effort, have a big impact. In my family, I try to celebrate small achievements as much as big milestones. This not only motivates children but also strengthens the emotional bond between us. Love and positive reinforcement can guide behavior better than punishment alone.
It is also important to encourage independence and decision-making. Children should have opportunities to make choices and learn from the results. For example, allowing them to choose clothes or plan a short activity helps them feel confident and responsible. Both of my children appreciate when I trust them to make small decisions; it builds self-esteem and problem-solving skills. However, guidance is necessary, especially when the decisions involve safety or responsibility.
Finally, I would suggest that my friend take care of themselves as a parent. Parenting can be tiring and sometimes stressful. Parents need time to rest, pursue hobbies, and maintain social connections. When parents feel well and happy, they are more patient and supportive toward their children. I have noticed that when I take a little time for myself, I am calmer and more focused when spending quality moments with my children.
In conclusion, parenting requires a balance of love, structure, guidance, and self-care. Listening, consistency, affection, encouraging independence, and personal well-being are key points that can help any parent raise confident, happy, and respectful children. Sharing experiences, being open to learning, and adapting to each child’s unique personality will make the parenting journey enjoyable and rewarding. My advice to any friend would be to nurture a loving environment while guiding children with care and patience. These principles help build strong family bonds and prepare children to grow into responsible and caring adults.

1. Is it always effective when both parents practise the same parenting style? 

It is not always effective when both parents practise the same parenting style. While consistency can provide children with clear rules and expectations, it may also create limitations. For example, if both parents are very strict, children might feel pressured and stressed. On the other hand, if both parents are permissive, children may lack boundaries and develop poor self-discipline. Effective parenting often benefits from a balance, where parents complement each other’s strengths. Cooperation, communication, and adapting to a child’s needs are crucial. Therefore, the best results arise not from identical styles but from supportive, flexible, and coordinated parenting approaches.

2. What parenting practices do you find useless? 

Some parenting practices seem useless because they do not help children grow responsibly. For example, constantly giving material rewards for simple tasks can make children expect prizes for everything, reducing motivation. Others, like harsh punishments for minor mistakes, often create fear instead of understanding. Overprotecting children can also be counterproductive, as they miss chances to learn independence and solve problems. Similarly, comparing children with peers can harm self-esteem without encouraging improvement. Positive guidance, patience, and communication usually work better. Effective parenting focuses on teaching responsibility, respect, and resilience rather than using coercive or material-based methods that offer little long-term benefit.

3. How do children learn social norms and rules in the family?

Children learn social norms and rules in the family through daily interactions and observations. Parents and older siblings act as role models, demonstrating behaviors like respect, honesty, and cooperation. Children receive guidance through explanations, storytelling, and everyday conversations which clarify expectations. Rules are reinforced with consistent consequences, encouraging understanding of right and wrong. Celebrations, chores, and shared mealtimes provide practical experiences where children practice manners, sharing, and patience. Over time, these repeated experiences help children internalize societal norms, preparing them to interact respectfully and responsibly outside the family. Learning is gradual but continuous.

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